The Baby
by Sis21K
Summary: Jack's and Katherine's second child is on the way, and everyone is excited. However, nothing can prepare them for the terrible reality. One shot.


**I'm not exactly sure how this idea fell into my head, but once it was there I couldn't resist writing it. So here it is.**

**This uses my previous OC: Jack's and Katherine's four-year-old daughter, Bella. It takes place years after the strike and years into their marriage.**

**Please review!**

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><p>"We're gonna get a baby! We're gonna get a baby!"Little Bella skipped around the room and repeated her chant in a sing-song voice. Crutchie, who had been left in charge of the four-year-old while her parents were at the hospital, smiled.<p>

"Your mother's _havin'_ a baby," he corrected. "You make it sound like they're out shoppin' for one!"

Bella giggled, then resumed her chant, slightly modified. "Mama's havin' a baby! Mama's havin' a baby!"

Crutchie lounged on the Kellys' couch, his crutch propped up beside him. It was very late, and Bella was supposed to be in bed, but he let her play for a while longer. It was a very exciting thing, especially for the little girl, who had been preparing for this for months. Katherine had been getting rounder and rounder lately, and tonight Crutchie had opened the door to a bright-eyed, breathless Jack.

"She's getting pains," he had said happily. "Just took her to the hospital."

Crutchie was out the door in a flash. He had promised Jack countless times that he would watch their first daughter, Bella, when the time came for the new addition to be born.

Now he stretched and stood up. "Time for bed, baby,"

Bella stopped skipping and looked up, surprised. "That's what Dad calls me," she said as Crutchie ushered her into the bedroom. "He says, 'my baby'."

"That's a very nice thing to say," Crutchie said, adding, "Get your pajamas on."

"I think so too," Bella said, obeying him. Her day dress fell in a heap around her feet and Crutchie helped her button up her tiny nightgown. "I'm not a baby, but…but…" She interrupted herself with a ferocious yawn and then seemed to forget what she had been saying. "But that's okay," she finished sleepily, crawling into bed.

Jack was running. The cold night air slashed at his face, but he didn't care. Katherine was having another baby! His mind raced with thoughts about the new addition as he ran down the street towards the hospital.

He hoped it was a girl. He'd spent his entire life around boys, but his life with Katherine and Bella was like a piece of heaven on earth. Another girl was what Katherine wanted, too, and he hoped it would happen if even just for her. She would be delighted. She would laugh and say, "What did I tell you?" And he would smile at her and say, "My girls…my babies…" It would be a night filled with joy.

Jack's thoughts strayed to his other baby girl at home with Crutchie. Bella. She would be happy too. She was as excited as Katherine and Jack—maybe even more. She couldn't wait to have a baby to play with, to care for. Jack could hear her little voice whispering in his ear, as she had for so many weeks now as Katherine's stomach kept getting larger. "Daddy, soon you'll have two babies to love!"

"I will, sweetie," he whispered now, into the night. "I sure will."

He thought about what was ahead of him. The hospital loomed in the distance. He'd taken Katherine in, supporting her weight as she moaned in pain, and she was taken from him by nurses. They had helped her into a wheelchair and started gently asking questions about when the pains had begun, how long she'd been pregnant, and all the other standards. But by that time, Katherine had been gasping, sometimes even crying out, and couldn't respond. They wheeled her off quickly.

Jack had tried to follow, but had been stopped by a young nurse who had started asking him the same questions about Katherine that she'd been unable to answer. Jack replied impatiently, then started in the direction his wife had been taken. But he was stopped again. "It's better if you remain, sir," the young nurse said. Jack frowned, then remembered he'd left Bella home alone. She had been napping, but she may have woken up.

He had sprinted back home, picked up Bella, stopped to get Crutchie, accompanied them back to his apartment, and now was running, running back to his wife and his baby.

His mind played around the last image he had of Katherine; she was sweating and had just given a miserable shout of pain and anguish. The smile that had been plastered on his face ever since he'd left the hospital faltered slightly. Was so much pain normal? The baby _was _a few weeks early—two or three, he didn't know the exact number. Katherine was the one counting down the weeks, not him. But that wouldn't matter…would it? Bella had been two weeks early. He tried to think back to that rushed night…he had been so panicked he could hardly remember it all…Katherine had been in pain, but he didn't remember her crying out. Maybe she had, when she was actually _having_ the baby. Was Katherine just closer now to having the baby, making the pain worse? That was probably it, Jack decided, and sprinted on with a new vigor.

Crutchie softly closed the door to the bedroom and went out into the living room again. He looked out into the black night. Light came through the window from the street lamps, and he didn't bother turning on more lights in the Kelly apartment. He anticipated Jack's return. Maybe it would take a few hours. That was all right with Crutchie. He would wait as long as he had to. He imagined Jack bursting through the door, possibly accompanied by Katherine and a little bundle of life, if they were healthy enough. "It's a girl!" is what they wanted, but Crutchie knew Jack would love "It's a boy!" too. The announcement would wake Bella, and she would come rushing out. Katherine would bend down, and Bella would peer into the face of her new brother or sister. She would murmur, "Mama had a baby."

Crutchie would be standing off to the side, but Jack would make sure he joined the huddle of a happy family of four. Crutchie knew the baby would be perfect in every way. Crutchie would stay with them a while to help out, and that evening he'd head home, ears filled with the laughter, cries, and gurgling of a newborn baby.

Tomorrow would be a happy day.

But for now, Crutchie had to wait.

Jack was waiting too. The same young, blonde nurse greeted him with a straight face, shaking her head. "Not yet."

"How is she?" he asked.

The nurse averted her eyes. "She's in pain. But she's strong. I think she'll be fine."

Jack nodded. He knew Katherine was strong. She would make it through this.

He sat alone in a hard brown chair. There was a clock hanging on the wall. His bleary eyes became fixated on it, watching the hands turn so slowly it seemed as if they weren't moving at all. At random intervals, he glanced at the door Katherine had disappeared through. The hospital was quiet. A few nurses passed through, murmuring softly to each other, and glancing at him. There were a few other people in the room, including several men about his age looking apprehensive. He knew they were all fathers, or soon-to-be fathers. They were all waiting…waiting…

The clock read 2:14 am when a nurse came through the door with a smile. All the fathers in the room sat up a little straighter, including Jack. But the nurse didn't even look at him. "Bruno Coleman?"

One of the young men jumped to his feet. The others slumped back in their chairs. An old man turned his head and grinned at the lucky one.

"How is she? How's the baby? _What's_ the baby?" the young father asked.

The nurse beckoned to him. "Both are fine and very healthy."

"And?"

The nurse smiled. "It's a girl!"

The man looked delighted as he followed her out through the door. Jack checked the clock again. Barely a minute had passed. He resumed his ceaseless stare on the clock. Another hour slowly ticked by. He put his feet up on the chair next to him…glanced at the door…closed his eyes…

Jack was dreaming. He hadn't had a dream like this for a long, long time.

He was in Santa Fe…

…Crutchie was riding past him on a palomino…

…Jack ran after him, laughing because Crutchie didn't have to ride, he could walk just fine…

…through the town—a city made out of clay…

…the stars were bright above, and the hills in the distant were green…

…Jack was tempted to peek into a clay house, and he saw Katherine…

…cradling her baby, _their_ baby…

…Crutchie came riding back; Bella was sitting in front of him…

…they both jumped down and they all went into the house and crowded around the baby…

…the baby…

"Jack Kelly?"

Jack jumped. His cap had slid over his eyes. The young nurse was standing in the doorway, looking very, very pale. The other men in the room slumped in their seats again; one even sighed loudly. Jack got to found he couldn't remember the dream. It was gone from his memory, but it had been wonderful. Maybe his life now was just a dream.

Jack knew that wasn't true, because it felt so real. Maybe it would be as wonderful as a dream.

His face broke into a grin and he scrambled to his feet. "How is she?" he asked. "And the baby?"

The nurse was obviously new. She didn't know that nurses were supposed to answer questions, to reassure nervous fathers. Jack could certainly have used some reassuring. But this one was rude; she turned away and said, "Follow me," in a choked voice. She must have been part of the team that had helped Katherine give birth. Jack knew that giving birth was exhausting and stressful. He decided to forgive this young nurse for her rudeness.

He followed her, straining his ears for the healthy cry of his baby. _His baby._ His second baby. Bella would be so excited. Katherine too. The family was complete with three, but it would feel even more absolute with four.

The nurse stopped outside a room. Jack bounced on his toes behind her. Maybe the baby was asleep already? He certainly couldn't hear any crying. At least he didn't have to hear Katherine's cries anymore. Those few minutes of hearing her yelling in pain were definitely enough for one day. Two days, now. It was tomorrow.

The nurse opened the door and Jack entered slowly. His heart pounded. There was Katherine. Was she all right? She raised her eyes to him and he saw that her face was stained with tears. Probably from giving birth; it was painful, after all. But she was fine now. He breathed a sigh of relief.

There was a bundle in her arms. Jack stepped closer. Katherine swallowed and leaned her arm forward slightly so he could look into the face of his second child.

Crutchie kept dozing off. He would awake with a start, check the clock, listen for sounds of restlessness from Bella, then fall back asleep. A few times he stood and looked out the apartment window at the great looming hospital in the distance.

Crutchie wondered what was going on. Perhaps a second child took longer to birth than a first child. Crutchie knew that Jack and Katherine would love both their children…his mind was filled with dreams about the family each time he dozed off…

Once when he woke, Bella was standing in the doorway of the bedroom, thumb stuck in her mouth. "I just can't sleep," she whispered. Crutchie had the impression she'd been watching him sleep for a long time. He smiled and motioned for her to join him on the couch. She obeyed, dashing over and snuggling herself against him. Crutchie wrapped his arms around her. "Where's Daddy? Where's Mama and the baby?" she murmured.

"They'll be here soon," he replied softly, not sure if it was true. Bella dozed against him, and Crutchie's eyelids drooped back into oblivion.

The baby was perfect.

The baby was a girl.

The baby was beautiful. The baby had dark hair like Jack's; just wisps sticking out of her tiny round head. The baby had long eyelashes like Katherine's. The baby had a tiny round nose and pink lips.

The baby was wrapped tightly in a white blanket.

The baby was Jack's. The baby was Katherine's. The baby was Bella's. The baby was the world's, in that moment.

The baby opened her bright blue eyes, melting Jack's heart.

Crutchie woke up once again as suddenly as if someone had shouted in his ear. He froze for a moment, hoping his jolt hadn't woken Bella, but the little girl didn't move.

The baby was pale.

The baby wasn't crying.

The baby's breathing was harsh.

The baby wasn't moving.

The baby was…

…dying…

Jack wasn't aware of the shout that left his mouth, or the tears that glistened in his eyes. He only knew that the young nurse in the doorway looked frightened. "Sir, please! Your wife!" The words were blurry, as if he was hearing them from underwater.

He raised his gaze to Katherine.

Katherine's eyes spilled over with silent tears. She stared into the face of the baby. Jack was suddenly at her side, stroking her hair, wiping away her tears while his own dripped off his chin. Katherine let out a quiet sob, and she appealed desperately to the young nurse. "Isn't there anything you can do?" she asked in a hopeless whisper.

The blonde nurse slowly shook her head, looking as if she was holding back tears of her own. "I'm sorry. There is…liquid in her lungs…if there was less maybe we could have attempted…but we thought it'd be better to give you the few minutes of life she has left…"

Jack watched as his baby's eyes closed, listened as her breathing grew more ragged. Time seemed to stop, and yet flew by in an instant. There was silence but for the baby's harsh breaths. The precious seconds slowly ticked away as the baby barely clung to life…

Katherine reached over and gently caressed the baby's cheek. Jack placed a hand on top of hers, and Katherine closed her eyes, tears still leaking out. Jack kissed the baby's forehead, and then Katherine's soft voice reached him.

"Talk to her, Jack. It's the only time she'll ever hear your voice."

Jack hesitated for only a moment. Then it was as if a dam had been opened, and words tumbled from his mouth, words of dreams, words of love, words about his past, present, and what he'd prayed for in the future. Every dream he'd had for this child was coming crashing down around him, and he spilled it out to the baby, _his_ baby, so she could possibly experience a part of it in the moments he had left with her…and as he reached to touch her face, he realized her skin had gone cold, and her haggard breaths had disappeared.

The baby was gone.

Crutchie strained as much as he dared to look out the window, but all he saw was the tops of buildings. A moment later he heard heavy footsteps approaching the apartment door. There was a single knock, then Jack let himself in. Katherine was nearly collapsing beside him. She didn't even look around but fled into the bedroom. Was the baby in her arms?

Crutchie jumped up in excitement, waking Bella, who rubbed her eyes. Seeing Jack, she gasped and ran to him. "Daddy! Where's the baby?" In her excitement she flew into his arms and nearly knocked him off balance.

Jack's face was in shadows until he bent down to embrace Bella; then Crutchie could see all of his features. Crutchie felt something like a boulder drop from his heart to his stomach, and his blood ran cold. Jack's face was one of total despair. What had gone wrong? Jack allowed himself one glance at Crutchie, but it explained nothing.

Jack pried Bella off of him and knelt in front of her, both hands on her shoulders. "Bella?" he said in a low voice. "You know how Mama was growing a baby in her tummy?"

Bella nodded eagerly.

"And we didn't know if the baby was going to be a boy or a girl?"

Bella started to answer aloud, but Jack put a finger on her lips.

"And we agreed that we was gonna love the baby as much as we loved you and you loved us, no matter what?"

Bella, looking slightly confused now, nodded silently again.

Jack took a deep breath and slowly let it out. "Bella, honey…Mommy had her baby, and it was a girl."

"My baby sister!" Bella whispered.

"Yeah. Your baby sister. But the baby can't come home, honey."

"What about tomorrow? Can she come home then?" Bella whispered hopefully.

Jack bit his lip.

"I'm so sorry, honey. Your baby sister isn't going to come home…ever…" A single tear fell down Jack's cheek, and Bella carefully wiped it away with her thumb, looking crestfallen.

"Why?"

"Because our little baby is an angel now, honey. She's up in the sky, and we won't see her for a long, long time."

Bella seemed to be picking up on Jack's grief. "So…I don't got a baby sister?"

"You still got one, sweetie. You do. And you'll meet her one day, I promise. But the baby just couldn't stay here to be with us."

"Why not?"

Jack looked exhausted, pulling Bella into a hug. "I don't know, baby." He took a deep, shuddering breath. "I'm sorry."

Crutchie slowly backed away, an intruder on the family grief, and looked out into the night. He heard Bella begin to sob, and Jack took her in the bedroom to lie beside Katherine. Crutchie took the opportunity to head to the door, figuring the family would just want to be alone for a while. He turned back to close the door and saw that Jack had taken his place by the window, staring up into the sky.

Crutchie shut the door and let a torrent of his own tears overtake him.

Jack was fixated on a single star. It still seemed to unreal to be anything but a dream—or a nightmare. But he knew it was over now. His tears were still coming, like an endless torrent of rain, but he knew they'd soon be dry.

"My baby," he whispered into the sky.


End file.
